Ways to Survive Marriage Post Baby

Hey Everyone!

One thing I can say for certain is that a baby changes everything! Before Patrick came along we were convinced we would be that couple, who still went out, whose relationship did not change. Well that bubble was burst June 4 with Patrick's first cry, as it should be! He changed both our lives and our life as a couple. In turn we have had to make changes to our relationship. I won't lie and say this has always been easy, this has probably been the hardest time in our entire relationship but also the best. So here are a few things I have learned about marriage, post baby...

Always know you are a team! I can say the first few weeks of Patrick's life flew by in a blur. I was overwhelmed by breastfeeding and lack of sleep and found myself snapping at Chris all the time. Finally one morning I realized this is my partner, we are working towards the same goal, to raise a happy healthy boy. So instead of snapping and pitting against each other, work as a team, decide who will do what when. Sometimes you will be the coach, sometimes the quarterback or the water boy...but always make sure you are your partner's biggest cheerleader!

Make your spouse your number one priority, your children your number two. I know to some this sounds crazy, you just carried this beautiful bundle of joy and they occupy 100% of your time. But in eighteen short years you will be waving at the car as they drive off to some distant dorm room and you will be left with that handsome man you met on aisle way back when. In short, you kids are reliable on you for a only short period of time in their lives, but you and your partner are in it for the long haul. So remember that, he is the person you share a bed with, share your hopes and your dreams with, don't forget about him!

Don't go looking for a fight! It's easy when you are exhausted and spread thin to seek out confrontation and see fault in the smallest of things. So instead of freaking out about the dirty clothes on the bathroom floor or the idiot comment he made last night try and focus the morning he let you sleep or planned a surprise date. We aren't always 50/50 in relationships, sometimes it 70/30 or even 99/1! Learn to focus on the good not the flaws!

Date your husband. Make sure and carve out time for the two of you, whether it be a night out or just catching up on DVR at home. Just as long as it is reserved for the two of you. Unplug and focus on each other. Talk about your days, all the things you used to do before that little person made all your conversations about poop and milestones. Be spontaneous, have sex, laugh together, don't let the crazy world around make you forget that this is the person who used to you butterflies. Try and keep the butterflies in your relationship, they are so important!

Carve time for yourself. Did you like to take baths or read before baby came along, find time for these things. Same goes for your husband, if he enjoys video games or music or time with his guys friends make sure and accommodate these things for each other. We can only be the best partner when we are our best self.

Stop husband bashing.  Yes we all need to vent, but I find they "bashing" of husbands becomes almost like a sport. I find it breeds negativity and problems and just gives a false impression of your husband to your closest family and friends. I never bashed or really even talked about issues in my relationship before baby, so I didn't feel a need to start after. My rule of thumb, if I wouldn't say it to my husband's family I won't say it to mine or my girlfriends.

Get some rest! It's amazing what a good nights sleep can do, so try and go to bed early. If you are exhausted ask your partner for help, on the weekends Chris and I trade off days so one of us gets a chance to sleep in. It makes a world of difference!

So to Chris, my best friend, father of my children and love of my life thank you for going on this crazy ride with me. You inspire me everyday to be a better person, wife and mother. You are and always will be the most important person in my life. I have loved you from the first moment we kissed, and continue to only love you more and more everyday. Thank you for doing the dishes, all the help with Patrick and making sure we are happy and taken care of. Thank you for being the best father Patrick could ever have. And most of all thank you for choosing me, loving me, and making me your wife. I hold your heart and know you hold mine always and forever!

xoxo

Katie